Boymom Has a "Girly" Day

It was like a mystical, magical girl kingdom where no boys were allowed. There was girl food (like Brie, which I got for free as a product tester!) and chocolate covered strawberries (which I also got for free by becoming a fan of Edible Arrangements on Facebook!)and there were crafty things like fun paper and paper punches and embellishments(all of this was also free, courtesy of houseparty.com and Martha Stewart Crafts). And there was glitter. EVERYWHERE! And we loved it. It was one of the best days I have had in a long, long time. And it was the first time in a long, long time that I got to feel like a girl again. I am still sparkly from the party. Twinkly on the outside from all the glitter that continues to adhere itself to anything and everything in the house. Shiny and happy on the inside cause I got to spend the day with some of my favorite women. Doing fru-fru stuff that I never do.

Why? Because I Am Boymom. Boymom's are busy super gluing broken laser guns and pulling rocks out of pants pockets. This boymom gave up on trying to do anything "girly" awhile ago. Girly just didn't seem to fit into the boymom equation. Plus, you know...I've never been really crafty anyway, so the whole boymom excuse works for me. Until this last Saturday. When my friends and family showed up and the glitter came out. The little girl in me leapt out of my heart and into my life again and she was alive and ready to play! Wanna see what we did?

Looks like fun, yes? IT WAS! I felt like Buddy the Elf! It was so fun and happy and Christmas - y I could barely contain my glee! I know...it sounds preposterous that something as trivial as a craft party could transform my attitude. I seriously think Martha Stewart put something magical in the glitter. I might have to rub it on my arms and face everyday now to maintain the positive attitude.

I guess I just had no idea how much I needed to let go of life's grind and let down for a few hours with some really cool chicks.

One of those cool chicks is one of my best blogger friends EVAH! She drove from the far end of China to get here , which was a HUGE sacrifice of her time and gas and she brought her wicked awesome son, who spent a few hours keeping my boy crew entertained. Sports Mama is an hilarious boymom who either keeps me in stitches or tears with her blog posts. It was so wonderful finally getting to meet her. We seem to have so much in common, she's definitely a kindred spirit. You can read her thoughts about our girl party here.

I've spent so long being in "Boy" mode that I had kind of forgotten how much girls need to be around other girls sometimes. My craft party was a great reminder to me that I need to let "Geri" come out once in awhile to play. Because although I like playing army man and watching Star Wars for the 109th time as much as the next gal? Sometimes I just need to be glittery and feel pretty and loved.

I want to thank my wonderful friends and neighbors and sister for showing up to help me reconnect and feel human again. Having you as my guests was the best start I could think of to what could be one of my most memorable holiday seasons ever.

Recap of October

October was a weird, busy month. So much so that I forgot to take pictures on Halloween. Mostly because for 7 days before Halloween I was dealing with this lovely gift from some unknown bacteria or virus:

Yes, that is Little Man, covered in some kind of Jungle Fungus that he picked up gosh knows where, probably because he touched some dead thing laying on the side of the road. We honestly don't know where it came from and 3 weeks later it has finally disappeared. Even the doctor didn't know what caused it, but somehow she knew it wasn't an allergic reaction and that it wasn't contageous? Not sure how that works, but I guess that's why I'm not a doctor, right?

Prior to the Voodoo Body Rot setting in, we were busy with Scout stuff. Big Brother was excited to get some awards for his scouting efforts, as was his friend. Friend rides with us to Scouts a lot. Friend is a carbon copy of Big Brother, personality wise. They sit in the back and just rattle on and on about how much they each know about whatever the subject for the night is and are completely happy to be in each other's company. Friend is a cool kid.

It was also Build-a-Rocket thing night at Pack Meeting and Big Brother had a killer rocket. He got smart this year and used decals instead of trying to hand paint his rig. Of course I have no picture right now, because I was busy winding the rubber band that spins the propeller that makes the rocket travel really fast down the string. 100 winds for every run he made. Trying not to lose count when someone started talking to me. Which was about every two minutes. Apparently everyone had a lot to say that night.

Anyway...here's a pic of someone else's rocket that I managed to take before I got busy winding:

When I find my camera again I will take a pic of our rocket, with the cool flame decals. Really what I am doing here? Is avoiding giving you the outcome of the night. Because it didn't end well. And it was my fault. Which is why Big Brother's dad should have gone. Because then we either wouldn't have had the bad ending or it could have been his fault, which I would have gladly written about and in fact, would have mentioned at the very beginning of the post. As it stands, though, Mom messed up the night. Because they were having parents hold the rockets at the starting line instead of the kids, to avoid potential conflicts with kids trying to inch forward, etc. So here's where our wonderful Scout night all went horribly wrong. Big Brother made it to the final heat. It was down to him and his competitor and whoever won that heat would race the leader for the title. Big Brother has NEVER won a Scouting racing event. Not with cars or boats, and now not with rockets. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I had been watching all of the dads there as they were releasing the rockets and noticed that the way they were holding the rockets to keep the rubber bands from unwinding too soon hindered their abilitiy to release the rocket quickly. So when it was time for our finals, I got up to the string, hung BB's rocket and gently held each side of the propeller with my forefingers and thumbs, instead of holding the entire rocket with one hand and the propeller with the other. Are you foloowing me? I know, this is really technical stuff.

Anyway, many of the dads noted my new holding position and were impressed. So I'm waiting for the competitor to get lined up and gladly, he had NOT noticed my technique. I'm thinking we got this one. But the dude took FOREVER to get ready. By the time he was ready, I heard the countdown, but had been falsely lulled into a relaxed state of mind waiting for this Yahoo! When the starter said go, I hesitated. I missed the release. I KNOW! He set me up! My kid was devastated. I was stunned.

Big Brother looked at me like I was the most evil creature on the planet, gently took his rocket and then stomped out of the gym. On my way out I noticed the final round was getting ready to go...the winner? Used my technique. See? I knew it was good.

So mom lost the night. It was a bummer. They gave out the ribbons, Big Brother was trying to get over his hate toward me when they announced root beer floats. Thank Freaking Gosh for Root Beer Floats! Big Brother let his frustration go and got happier with every mouthful of creamy carbonation and I was temporarily forgiven.

Lesson learned? Scout Dads are competitive and sneaky and will do whatever it takes to win so you always have to be on high alert when you are around them so you are not lulled into a sense of apathy. KIDDING! Scout parents are awesome, it was a fun night. Real lesson learned? My son still struggles with losing and a great technique only works if you PAY ATTENTION! Oh yeah...and ice cream fixes almost anything.

Retake Day. Same as Last Year.

Okay...do I swear every year that I am not going to buy school pictures? I DO take that oath, each and every year, and yet I still submit myself to the torture that is school photography. Today is retake day. I sent notes with my boys to give to the photographer with explicit instructions regarding smiling or not smiling.

Because without fail, every single year, I get a picture that looks like this:


Now, I'm no genius, but does that look like a natural smile to you? I'm just sayin that common sense would tell a picture taker that Mom probably isn't going to want to pay the obscene amount of money she just paid for a fish face, forced smile. And I know the job is hard, I WAS a school photographer for about 6 months. I went around doing high school pics, which is even harder than grade school, because they actually CARE how they look, which makes the process very time consuming! I've watched girls reapply their entire face with a compact mirror while everyone in line waited because one eyelash was pointing the wrong way! "ALRIGHT ALREADY! It's just a shcool picture! To top it off? I got assigned to some of the alternative schools. The school where the "bad kids" went. It was like taking mug shots at a prison. I'd ask them to smile and they'd stare at me like I just said the last words I would ever say again. It was a little scary.

I figured if I was gonna die taking future death row inmate pics, I might as well have some fun, so I decided to mess with them a little. Might as well go down swingin', yes? So an inmate student would sit down, and I'd do the "Say Cheese" or "Smile!" thing and Barrio Brotha would stare back at me in all his coolness. So then I'd say something like "What's your mom gonna say when you show up with this picture lookin' all serious like that?" Some of them would grin and SNAP! I'd get the pic. Some of them would just get angrier. Then it dawned on me that maybe some of these kids had "issues" with their moms. Like war memories. I suddenly pictured Norman Bates from Psycho and I decided maybe I didn't want to die that day after all, so I tried some new tactics. Anyway, you get where I was going, right? Ya gotta be creative!

My best experience? Was at one of the "bad kid" schools. There was this kid who looked like he came right out of East LA. He was all attitude. He tried to go all gansta on me the minute he sat down.

Him: "Yo. Ima put my hood up for this pic."
Me: "Sorry dude, school rules. No hats, no hoods, gotta keep the face uncovered."
Him: "Man, that's whack. This place sucks. Whatevah."
Me: "Dude, yer a nice lookin' kid. Why you wanna cover your head up anyway?"
Him: "I ain't no kid."
Me: "You're like 10 years younger than me...you're all kids. It's just a phrase, guy. Relax."
Him: "My name's not Guy."
Me: "Also just a phrase...you ready?
Him: "Yeah...let's do dis." (Poses like a gangsta.)
Me: "Really? This is what yer gonna take home to mom?"
Him: "She don't care. It's cool. Just take the picture."
Me: "Dude, I would, but you have a little booger hanging on your nose...right there."
Him: "Oh sh*t! For reals?" (Starts wiping his nose)
Me: "No man, just kiddin' with ya." (He looks up and grins...SNAP! Got the picture!)
Him: "D*mn! I can't believe you just did dat! That's cold! (he's totally laughing now)
How you gonna do somethin' like that to me? How's my picture? Can I see?"

Homeboy ended up being my assistant for the day. We had some really great pics that afternoon. He was actually this really hilarious person. Some of the guys were hard core and wouldn't give up a smile for love nor money. But we got the majority of them. My assistant was awesome. He sent a letter to the photography company saying his mom cried when she saw the portrait. She said that was the happy son she had missed so much. Right on.

Why am I sharing this story? Well, originally I was just griping about crappy school pictures. Then it kind of morphed into this whole "if I can do it, anyone can" thing, which morphed into "you never know how your efforts might affect someone else." So...take whatever message you need to from this post and pray that our retake day will be successful. Otherwise, I SWEAR! I will never buy school pictures again. Until next year.

Monday's To-Do List

I've filled out so many applications and sent in so many resumes today. Laundry is starting to look a lot more fun right now.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

Big Hair, Big Glasses...Yes. I was an 80's chick. And yes, sometimes I wish big hair would make a comeback. It's a balance thing...big hair makes big hips look smaller. It's true.

I'm Blissdom Bound! (If I can find a Sponsor!)

Before you start reading this you should know that I write like I talk. Which is a lot. So you might want to grab a drink and get comfy. This could take a few minutes. Ready? Okay...

My mantra for the rest of this year through 2010 is personal growth. At 45 years of age, I have finally started to figure out what makes me happy. It's been a long journey to gain this little bit of knowledge that has resulted in a major paradigm shift for me. And it all came about because of a blog. I know...it seems silly to think that a blog could be the vehicle that would allow some despondent mom sitting at home, typing out her daily comings and goings on her computer, to find the secret to her happiness. But that's what happened. Because as the words rolled out and the pictures were posted, comments and insights came back from people who actually took the time to read and feel my writings. Realizations were made, understanding and bonding took place, inside my home and across the world wide web. Love was rekindled and friendships developed, which helped me feel normal and capable and whole...all because I blog.

I have had really amazing experiences over the past year as I have used my blog to write, to communicate, to vent, to chronicle my family's daily life and to figure out how to find myself as a person while trying to be the best mom, wife and friend I can be. As a result of my blogging, I have had opportunities meet wonderfully positive and supportive people from every walk of life, from all over the world. Along with encouraging my personal development, some of them pushed me to develop my writing and business skills, then invited me to start working with a few companies and products. I have found that I really enjoy the business aspect of blogging as well as the personal rewards that have come from using social media.

To that end, I am going all out in 2010 to learn and grow as a Blogger. I am very motivated to learn how to use my talents to work with the business world to help promote companies/products that support mom-bloggers and improve the lives of families all over the world. I have much to learn.

To help me in my quest for knowledge, I will be attending the BlissDom Conference, which will take place Feb 4-6, 2010 in Nashville, Tennessee. It is a top-notch event which will allow me to sit at the feet of accomplished and renowned Social Media Mavens who will teach me the ins and outs of successfully navigating the blog world! As such, it is also a wonderful opportunity for forward thinking companies who recognize the power and influence that moms have in their communities (online and at home) to promote their products and ideals! I am looking for a sponsor who will help me attend the conference.

I have broken down the costs involved in attending the conference below:

• Blissdom Conference Ticket: $249 for early registration
• Roundtrip flight from Phoenix to Nashville: $224 to $275 if I book ticket within the next couple weeks.
• Airport Shuttle to and from hotel: $20Hotel costs for 4 nights (discount rates for BlissDom attendees): $576
• Pre-conference Blissdom Wisdom Workshops for in-depth, small group learning - technical, business & creative: $100
• TOTAL COST FOR FULL SPONSORSHIP: $1195.00

I am seeking a full sponsorship and would prefer to try to work with just one company so I don't have to split my efforts to promote more than one sponsor. But I understand that the economy takes its toll on marketing budgets too, so I will consider splitting the costs of the conference between 2 sponsors if necessary. In return for a sponsorship, I will provide the following services to promote the company/product before, during and after the Blissdom Conference:

• I will hand out coupons and flyers. I will have to be creative in doing this however, as BlissDom has changed its policy regarding how personal sponsorship swag can be handled, but we can discuss options such as an after hours room party or something of that nature to distribute swag. I'm pretty open to ideas!
• I will make a t-shirt or a canvas bag with your company logo or slogan to wear and/or carry during the conference.
• I am willing to wear unique clothing/accessories as advertisement. Keep in mind, I am plus-size, which I am working on as part of my personal growth (meaning losing weight, not growing more!) in 2010.
• I will do a blog post regarding your sponsorship and products, as well as place sidebar ads on both the home and review pages of my blog for a 12 month period.
• I will also actively post updates about your company, brand, or product on my blog, Twitter and Facebook before, during and after the BlissDom Conference for a 12 month period.
• I will post photos, videos and do live blogging and Tweeting to promote your company/product during the BlissDom Conference.
• I am open to any other ideas you and your marketing department may have about how I can best promote your brand, as long as it's legal and family friendly! Let's brainstorm!

I Am Boymom is evolving everyday and I am confident that the knowledge and tools I gain at this conference will allow me to take my blog to the next level and really establish my brand/identity in the blog world as one that works well with companies who support marketing savvy moms and their families. Additionally, I am really involved in my community, so my influence is farther reaching than just my blog. Between Scouts, school, sports, church activities, local political involvement and neighborhood events, I am in contact with hundreds of parents who are always looking for informed opinions and positive experiences about products/companies from other families with whom they come in contact. And because I love to talk? I am NOT shy about sharing when I find good products, good companies and good deals!

Please feel free to take a look around my blog to find out more about who I am and what I do, as well as who I support. Then email or call if you are interested in helping me attend this conference. I will be happy to answer any questions you may have and we can talk details! I look forward to working your company so we can both experience amazing growth in 2010!

And thanks for considering my request for sponsorship.

P.S. - Years from now? When my kids are on Oprah talking about all the great things our family accomplished and what a great childhood they had 'cause their mom finally got her stuff together and taught them how to be confident, well adjusted, pro-active, self-supporting, successful adults? They'll mention you too, cause I'll pound it into their brains that this conference and the company who sponsored me was the turning point in our lives. Seriously...how can you pass up multi-generational, lifetime promotion?

Is This How I Look to Other People?

I am posting this picture, despite my dislike for pictures of myself, because some of my blog friends don't know what I look like. Who is this Boymom person? Why does she hide from us? Ummm...because I see pictures like this and decide to spare my readers exposure to my arm flab and general roundness? Yeah - your welcome.

So here I am in all my glory, with Darlene, the kick-butt garden lady who takes care of my Grandpa in Idaho. See how that tomato is dwarfed in the presence of my massive girth? Too much flesh for the internet, people. Me...too much flesh on me. Not the tomato. Or Darlene.

I wonder if some search engine will pull this post up as porn because of the flesh references. That would be a crappy surprise for someone who clicked on my blog and thought they were gonna see something sexy...a fat chick, an elderly woman and a tomato. Hope we made your day! Bwuah ha ha ha!!